Part 1: #What's with the attitude?#
السلام عليكم
My journey as a new Muslimah, this will be my 1st writing about my journey as a new Muslimah. Before i start, i would like everyone knows that, i'm writing this not to condemn anyone especially to all my dearest sisters. My intention is nothing but hoping that my story will be a good lesson to anyone out there or maybe a guidance to all the new Muslimah. I'm not a saint, not an angel, i'm just a human being created by Allah and if there's some part or point of my story hurt your feeling, i'm sorry for that but my story is not pointing to any of you but it's just my experience, feeling and thought that i want to share with some people who willing to read this with open heart and mine. I'm not a good writer or author, i'm not English expert, i'm not expert on anything but this is how my writing should be, simple, easy and with lot of mistake, but i'm willing to improve myself.
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| Image for display purpose only. I don't own any right of this image. |
So here the story goes....
Once upon a time....oh wait, this is not a fairy tale! Ok back to basic. One fine day, I try to survey hijab/veil for the first time in my life with my husband and without any female Muslim friend (which I don't have any), so it's kinda hard for me. My husband is a Muslim, but even thou Muslim or not, we (women) never depend on them especially when it comes to female clothing and stuff. Maybe some of you might say "Oh my God, that's very easy one" "so 'kacang' lah wei, even my little sister know".
So me and my Husband walk in to one shop then another, all the shops is selling Muslim / Muslimah clothing and some other stuff. Of course for the first time in my life buying all these, i feel lost. But before I even ask any of the promoter / seller (Muslimah) I notice they stare at me like i'm an alien or something, i feel very uncomfortable. So i just ignore, and ask one or two of them, how to wear this type of hijab / veil, what should i use to cover this and that, then all of them start to laugh. From what I looked, it's obvious that i'm not "malay" and new to Islam. Instead of helping me and answer me with a good manner, they laugh while replying me along sarcastic and rude attitude. Not only one shop, ALL the shop that i walked in. There's only 1 shop that didn't do that to me, it's a old lady but mostly her shop selling for adult muslimah. Some people just judging me, even worst gossiping or sarcastic (with a loud voice) along with hysterical laugh, even i don't even know them. YES IT'S HURT. So the only thing i can do is, put the stuff back, walk away and go home. I feel lack of confident afterward, feel sad and depressed to go out even just to buy clothes or small stuff. How we the new Muslim want to improve with that type of attitude? Not helpful at all.
I'm not a philosopher or a wise person. But i know how much it hurt. It hurt so bad. Some of your (Muslimah) action might hurt us and worst scene scenario, making us regret to be a Muslim. Honestly, after I've been treated bad, I feel hurt, depressed, stress out and paranoid. I don't want to go out and meet outside world. Even worst, make me feel miserable and think "Why I become a Muslim. They're (97% Muslimah) mostly mean / rude toward me. I feel not welcome." 97% refer to Muslimah around me, not included the other area / country. Yes i'm only refer to Muslimah, because the men, I don't really deal with them because I don't talk or look at them unless something important, but mostly my husband the one who will deal with men.
Back to the story; after some moment, I realize and say "أستغفر الله" for thinking that way. I love Islam. I believe there's no God but Allah and Muhammad (Peace be upon him) is his Prophet. I converted to Muslim not because a person, not because any of you but because Allah. I have no one but my husband who cheer me up, Encourage me and advice me. He always remind me. And there, i stop thinking about it and ignore. My solution either confront them one day if it's happened again or buying online. If some of you asking "So your husband do nothing about it?" Trust me, he almost warn / yell at them but then I stop him. It's just not worth it. What make me feel more relief and stand strong is when my husband telling me these "Ignore them. If they can't be a good Muslimah, then prove them, you're a good Muslimah. You're different. Be a good Muslimah that can make other Muslimah want to be good just like you, giving them hope, encourage them and also give a good example. You're special." Now that's what we called "i'm the most luckiest women for having a great husband like him!" Alhamdulilah! (:
I hope my story have a moral values in it, or maybe can guide someone who new like me too and also give a good lesson to some people who maybe mean to others. Mean not "makna", mean "kejam", i think. I'm not really good in Malay thou. Anyhow, please bear in mind and practice these:
STOP JUDGING.
BE UNDERSTANDING.
ENCOURAGE OTHERS.
BE NICE.
BE A GOOD EXAMPLE.
DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES ALLAH HAPPY.
Not everyone is born as a Muslim. You're lucky but honestly I am so disappointed with that type of attitude. So in case you have this type of attitude, CHANGE. That it, for part 1. If some point hurt your feeling, forgive me but yes the truth is hurt. Thank you for spending your time with me and see you again on my next post. May Allah blessed each one of us.
السلام عليكم
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